Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
