Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
and she was petting her beer can
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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