69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
