STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
