We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
