i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
