That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
we're making bets on your personal life
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Randomize
