thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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