whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Damn victory sex feels great
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I'm always down for nudity.
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