Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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