only if we run a train.
done.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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