We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
