he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
