Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
