started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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