I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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