At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Randomize
