I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
This girl is more easily done than said...
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
