She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
