you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
