If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
