why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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