I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
