i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
