He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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