I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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