I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
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