Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
