I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
