i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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