Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
