My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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