Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
