I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
