I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
And then he peed in my hair
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