He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
