i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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