Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
