Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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