I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
