if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
