i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
