i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
