Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize