nut hugger
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
My pussy is not your playground.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
