Sponge bath it is.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
