My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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