Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
