I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
