i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
